Tofu the Vegan Zombie is the un-dead embodiment of that classic zombie joke:

Q: What does a vegetarian zombie moan?

A: “Graaaiinns!”

Although some people are trying to spice it up with their own interpretations, it still stands the test of time as a truly awful joke.

Tofu, however, is a vegan zombie. One with his own toy range, animated videos (Quicktime Required), fan art and backstory.

This means that he exists more than I do, currently.

“Tofu” is a friendly zombie, created from a botched experiment in Professor Vost’s laboratory. Monkey # 5, one of Vost’s lab animals, stuffed a block of tofu into the zombie boy’s open skull after accidentally losing the brain. As a result, “Tofu” eats only vegetables and grains and has no taste for human meat. However, if “Tofu” ever loses his “tofu-brain”, he turns into a dangerous zombie creature, craving human flesh.”

Click here, or on the picture to the left, for more Tofu!

Valentines day has come and gone, and even though the walking legions of the undead are not necessarily associated with this day - its our belief that zombies need love too, and we are prepared to help.

The first thing you need is a pickup line. Pick up line #23 (illustrated above) “I love you for your mind” will send your chosen partner swooning with your obvious grace and style, if you don’t let them see the burning hunger in your eyes. (or eye, or sockets)

If the ravages of time have left you minus vocal cords, or a jaw, this handy message is also available on a shirt and on a sented candle. Convenient yes?

I would like very much to attribute the above picture and or the pickup line to someone, but unfortunately i have been unable to find a source. If you know or are the source of this picture, please send us an email.

Good Luck! (use deodorant)