NOTE: This review may contain spoilers. It is also stupidly large and consists only of my opinion.

I recently went to see the latest iteration of the Resident Evil movie franchise, with some friends, at the local cinema.

Boring background stuff
The Resident Evil move series is based on the Video games series of the same name. The Resident Evil games have always taken up a predominant section of my video game collection for their cool environments, mutated zombies and terrible voice acting. In the video game, you play a variety of characters, all fighting the undead and genetic abominations given unlife by an outbreak of a virus with miraculous properties. The source of this viral outbreak is the Umbrella Corporation, a bioengineering pharmaceutical company which developed the T-Virus as a Bio-Organic weapon. The T-Virus not only resurrects the dead as a mindless shambling horde but, when introduced directly to a living host, results in unpredictable mutated creatures.

Resident Evil: Extinction is the third in a series of movies which follows the narrative of Project Alice, following on from the second film where she escapes the experimentation of the Umbrella Corporation with shiny new telepathic abilities. Alice is now wandering a desert post-apocalyptic world, like many bad-ass heroes before her, such as: Mad Max and Tank Girl. But that’s ok, if an overused environment is not broke, why fix it?

So, the few human beings left now live in motorized conveys and have been stealing supplies and petrol from various small towns and truck stops. Here we begin.

Opinion
I saw this movie with five other people. Apparently I was the only person who enjoyed the entertainment which only the umbrella corporation can supply. Although I enjoyed the film, I would have enjoyed it just as much if I rented it on a rainy Saturday afternoon rather than seeing it in the cinema… but I wouldn’t…because it’s got zombies in it.

The Bad
Oh man, where do I begin?

The film was directed by Russell Mulcahy and although this is his first mainstream zombie themed film, he has brought us such gems as: Highlander II: The Quickening, The Shadow and Resurrection.

Russell… I am going to give you a couple of director hints, for free. You know, pro bono.

Blasting your audience with incredibly loud unrecognizable sounds, during a quiet scene is a very cheap method of trying to scare your audience. I’m not saying it doesn’t work, many respectable movies have used the technique; I’m saying that you shouldn’t use the technique to the exception of all other techniques. Honestly, you basted screaming noises at me, every five minutes, for the entire film. Also, on that note, zombies do not run up to someone and then scream in their face, they bite it off.

You made me consider walking out of your film, in the first ten minutes. It looked like your camera man was having a fatal heart attack. Seriously, did you get the camera man from The Chronicles of Riddick? In what world did you seriously think that the beginning scene, where it looks like the camera was dropped on the floor and then kicked around the set, and go “wow, this is brilliant!” GOD.

What is with your inconsistency with regards to killing zombies? How come, one of the major characters who, after killing a bunch of zombies with headshots, lost this ability and shot a single zombie in the back five times while it was laying on the floor munching on her friend? This was the most painful part of your film, watching your character come fresh from head shotting four zombies to unloading into distracted zombies back.

Don’t get me started to your magic box of infinite zombies. What the hell man?

The Good
This was an enjoyable film. I know it’s a little hard to believe after the points above, but even though it definitely had mind numbing moments of darkness, the action sequences were engaging, the computer graphics top notch and the zombies gory.

I also enjoyed reading more into the story of Alice and her plot thread did not disappoint.

The movie really reached back to its roots, from the foundation laid in the first film, to give you the impression that you were watching a movie based on the resident evil games. Right up to the end showdown between Alice and a horribly mutated final boss.

Brains
I’m going to be using a brain system to rate all my reviews. I understand that rating systems are very relative and entirely based on the opinion of the reviewer; so it’s up to you if you want to take it with a pinch of salt.

I will refine this review rating summary method over time and you can read the current method I am using by clicking on the review method link.

It is my hope, from this system, that I can score only the zombie related subject matter in the movie.

Engaging Portrayal of Zombies
The film, quite accurately, portrayed the zombie menace as a moaning shambling horde, which are not very effective in small numbers, but dangerously relentless as a horde. They can wait…

Not as happy with some of the running zombie spin-offs that were presented.

8 out of 10 Brains.

Correct Emotional Responses from survivors.
What the hell is with this Gun-Ho attitude? Where is the “Overconfidence is the silent killer” sub-plot? Has Claire never lead a group before?

You’re getting points for the “False hope is better than no hope” message

5 out of 10 Brains.

Fear Factor
Constant loud noises are never a substitute for good scares, or legitimate survival suspense.

2 out of 10 Brains.

Dark Humour
Unintentional humour is still humour. You will know it when you see it. “Rarrr, I can’t get the camera out of CLS mode… RAAAAAHHHGG”

4 out of 10 Brains.

Zombie Action Sequences
Really good, it does my heart good to see their little heads being shot off.

You loose points for having a main character go from magical rifle kills all zombies with a shot to the head, to, durrrrrr how do I shot gun?

7 out of 10 Brains.

Summary
Out of a possible 50 Brains, this movie scored 26 very opinionated Brains, or %52. Surprised? So am I. What does this mean? Well, this is an average zombie film. If you are in it just for the zombies menace, you can take it or leave it.

I recommend that you see this movie if you have played the Resident Evil video games, and enjoyed them. If you have to see it in the cinema, leave your non-zombiephilliac friends at home. Their constant face palms and sighing will retract from the experience.